Embren's Birthday
by MizuKitsune10
Summary: It's Embren's Birthday! I'm celebrating with this fic! It is kinda HPxDGM crossoverish. Does include randomness, Malfoy-bashing, and a catfight. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY! CRACKFIC


9/15/08 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!!  
This, is a special birthday present for Emily! Happy 15th birthday!  
As such, this is all my (V-chan's) POV about her best friend's birthday.  
Let's also say everything that has happened in my DGM fics, and her Days of Our Lives fic have happened.

Key

blah - Location change  
**Blah**- Time skip  
"blah" - speak  
'blah' - thought  
(blah) - Author comment

**Emily's Birthday**

Emily's been sounding sad. I think it's because of one of two things. It's either 1)She hates her high school or at least some of her classmates -EVIL PREPS THEY ARE!-, or 2) She misses the DGM crew and HP crew.

I'm absolutely sure it's the second, because if it was the first, we'd have burned the school down already. So, lesse, her birthday is in two days, so what shall I do? Oh! I know! I'll set up a party! I'll invite Allen and everybody too!

Lesse, materials: Dimension hopper- I looked for that and found it in the horror that is under my bed (shiver) -check. Birthday supplies- I looked at the giant duffel bag holding her party supplies-check. Dark gloves-check. Alright! Let's go! And so I used the dimension hopper and jumped to the HP dimension where Harry and co. should be settling in.

Hogwarts

(First paragraph is 3rd person POV)

Harry and his friends had just started school, and were finally glad to have a regular year. Until they saw someone come out of the same portal Malfoy and their wacky American friend Emily came from. They half-hoped it was Emily. Instead it was a black haired, brown eyed girl dressed in a dark gray dress shirt and black slacks with black and silver converses on.

I came out and immeadiately grabbed Ron, Hermionie, Harry, Fred, George, and of course, Draco. Then I roughly dragged them back into the portal I came from, only this time, it would lead to Emily's dimension. Yes it should be impenetrable, but I am her best friend and spirit-twin, so she let's me use it if it's empty.

Emily's Dimension

The second I let go of them, they started stunning me. Too bad I had a wand (custom made using shadow lynx fur and Yew. Shadow lynxes are rare lynxes who blend in with shadows and are very lazy, but angered easily(MADE UP!). Kinda like me.).

So, I silencio'ed them all besides Malfoy, who I stunned and said, "Sorry about that. My name is V-chan and I'm a friend of Emily's. Since her birthday is in two days, I wanted to invite you guys to her party that I'm throwing her." Then I dropped my supply bag on the floor.

Obviously, they agreed, besides Malfoy, who was still unconscious. Hermione just had to ask, "What about a present?" Luckily, I managed to silencio them again to keep them from panicking before replying, "We shall put Malfoy in a box with air holes and present him to her." "Why?" Ron asked. "So she can torture him of course!" I grinned.

We shoved a Draught of Living Death down his throat that would last two days and I tried to wrap him in a box, with holes the size of pennies in it. Both of them were in my bag, which had eyebrows raised at me. "GODDAMMIT! I can plan and execute mass mayhem as simple as counting! I can even think of over a hundred torture methods within a minute! BUT I CAN'T WRAP A FREAKING PRESENT!" I yelled. Everyone else was shocked. Until Hermione wrapped it. "Thank you." I said, sweatdropping.

Finally, I told them, "I'm going to grab the other guests, so sit down, shut up, and DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" Taking their silence as an 'okay', I started the transporter and went to Exorcist HQ.

Exorcist HQ

(Same day, about twenty minutes after the Hogwarts fiasco.)

The captives were released last week (not really, but go with it), and they probably wanted to relax, and forget about us, even though they can't.

As soon as I popped up, I found out that everyone I wanted to come was in Komui's office. Of course once they saw me, I received lots of different responses.

Allen went the same way he did when Cross was mentioned, Lenalee nervously waved, Lavi waved like a hyper child, Kanda scowled, Komui cheered at having another mad genius there, Miranda and Krory fainted, and Bak got hives, which seem to pop up whenever I'm around.

"Yo!" I said with a lazy salute. "Come with me please." I continued and activated the dimension transporter.

"NO!" was their reply (please excuse Cross if I write they do anything). "IT WAS NOT A REQUEST YOU CAN DENY! IT IS AN ORDER!" I yelled. Everyone went in, not wanting to piss me off apparently.

Emily's Dimension

Once everyone was in, I began to explain myself. "Okay, Emily's birthday is in two days. I want you guys to help me with the party. Oh yeah, meet Fred, George, Hermione, Ron, and Harry. They're helping me with the party too." I said.

Everyone agreed, since they couldn't leave without me, and Komui automatically brought out a Komurin.

"Oh God! Komui, give me the Komurin. NOW!" I demanded. Luckily, Komui agreed, and I fixed it's programming. "Thank you. This Komurincannot malfunction now, unless you guys smash it with say Lavi's hammer. If if does malfunction," I paused. "you will all die HORRIBLE, FLAMING, GORY DEATHS. Got it?" I hissed. Once again, everyone agreed. Lavi looked scared, afraid of my direct aknowledgement to him ruining the Komurin.

"Great!" I said happily. "Okay, now you guys start decorating, and I will grab the Noahs, and remember, fight and you guys DIE!" I cackled.

"What about a present?!" Allen half-yelled. "Oh yeah, Komui, do you have a Komurin half Moyashi's size?" I asked. "Hey! I'm NOT a BEANSPROUT!" Allen yelled.

"Why yes I do V-chan!" Komui said, as he handed it to me. GREAT! Wait a moment please." I said, and I began programming it to be her butler, know lots of academic stuff, a room cleaner, and a prep destroyer. She could choose by turning the knob on it's head.

I put it in a box, and told the DGM people, "This is your present to her. You guys wrap it yourselves." "Why don't you baka?" Kanda asked. "Because Kanda-baka, watashi wa namakemono desu." I finished in Japanese.

Everyone looked shocked. "Uh, what did she say?" Lenalee asked. "She's a lazy person." Kanda and Allen said. "Wait, how the hell do you two know Japanese?!" Kanda yelled. "I have to agree, aren't you Chinese V-chan?" Lenalee asked.

"Yes, I am Chinese, but I wanted to learn both Japanese and Chinese." I said. "Master traveled all around the world to try and not get caught by you guys and debt collectors." Allen shuddered. Cross merely glared at everyone at the room, until I brought him alcohol.

"Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego!" I sang. Hermione laughed at the song reference. Cross glared at us. Can I help it if the song fits?

"Alright, I gotta go grab the Noahs, so see ya! And you guys better be decorating! Supplies are in my duffel bag." I said. So, I finally got into the portal to grab the last of the guests.

Earl's HQ

(an hour after I grabbed the DGM crew from HQ)

As soon as I appeared, the Noah hid. They obviously thought I'm here to kill them.

"Konnichiwa V-chan." the Earl said. "Konnichiwa Earl-kun. Will you guys come with me to Emily's dimension?" I asked.

"HELL NO!" the Noahs screamed. "If you don't I shall kill you for ruining Emily's birthday party!" I screamed right back.

"WHAT?!" they yelled, again. "Okay, SHUT UP FIRST!" I said. Once they quieted down I continued, "Emily's birthday is in two days. I want you guys to help me with her birthday party, after all, you did such a good job on the Earls."

They grudgingly agreed, thank god. "Okay, I want as really awesome present for Emily, from all of you, so it can't be a half-assed job.

"Of course V-chan!" the Earl said. "Now children, what shall we give our beloved Emily for her birthday?" the Earl asked his followers.

The results ranged in a chicken (probably the one they got from Cross) from Jasdebi, a doll from Rhode, Lulubell suggested clothes (yeah right), and Skin suggested candy, Tyki suggested they get her books on torture. Tyki was bombed with cries of, "NO!", until I said, "Tyki's idea is excellent! Now go grab some books on that subject!"

About an hour later, there was one book from each Noah. Rhode had a book on different torture methods. Tyki had a book on psychological torture. Jasdero had a book on using different tools for torture. David had a book like Jasdero's, only it had tools one couldn't think of, like rubber bands, and string, and air. Lulubell had a book on the history of torture. Skin had a book on poisons that worked slowly, and were edible. The Earl had gotten her an Iron Maiden, which Jasdebi hissed at.

After they were all wrapped up, which took another hour, I activated the portal and said, "Come on!" and we marched right in.

Emily's Dimension

Once we got in, the impossible happened.

The exorcists and Noahs didn't fight. They just stared at each other. The Harry Potter people just watched in curiosity and amusement.

O  
M  
G

"APOCALYPSE!" I yelled. That snapped everyone out of their stupor. The Noahs dropped their gifts in a pile, and went back to where they were.

"Okay, so you are all here for Emily's birthday party. Tomorrow you will all be decorating, and helping me prepare food. This means, no fighting. If I catch ANYONE who fights, their dead. Got it?" I demanded.

Everyone nodded. "Good! Now, I would like all of you get some sleep. Tomorrow we will finish decorating and preparing." I finished.

A hallway appeared instantly. I pointed at it and said, "Now, your room is down that way. Doors are labelled. No food allowed, No one besides you is allowed in, well except me. So I suggest you wake up on time. Or I will wake you up my way." I grinned evilly and allowed the guests into their rooms.

I sighed and looked at the room. I had to say, it wasn't half bad. Streamers, balloons, and even a banner that read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY were up. There were tables ready to hold food, and a pile where everyone put their presents down. We still needed a TV, computer, stereo, break dancing area, and couches, not to mention artwork.

I finally felt tired and went into my own room. It had changed. It was now gray, with a blue feature wall by the bed. The ceiling was black and had crimson red on the border. There were My Chemical Romance, Linkin Park, Simple Plan, and Three Days Grace posters on the feature wall. There were also screen shots of D. Gray-man episodes. There was a desk with my laptop, a dresser, and a queen sized bed.

'Much better.' I thought to myself. I changed and went to sleep, wondering if this plan of mine would work.

**Next Day**

The next day, I woke up late. "Shit." I cursed. I took a shower and tied my hair up into a ponytail. Then I put on a gray t-shirt saying: I'm stuck in the middle of Good and Evil and a pair of navy blue jeans. I slipped on my silver converses and went outside.

Everyone else was there and apparently waiting for me.

"Alright, who here can cook?" I asked the mass of people. Allen, Harry, and the Earl (I have no idea if he or Allen can cook, but let's say they can) raised their hands.

"Great, you guys are helping me make food for tomorrow that will stay fresh in my handy preservation bubble. Everyone else, besides Cross has to decorate the room. It should be done by the time we're done cooking. Everything is in the bag I have." I said.

Then I reached into my bag and brought out a wide screen TV, three computers, a giant stereo system, and break dance pad. That brought me some raised eyebrows.

"What?" I scowled. The -man group alternated between staring at me and Kanda. "Che. Stupid idiots." I mumbled. Apparently, they heard that too, since they started staring at me oddly, including Kanda.

Finally, Hermione asked me the question I was expecting, "How the hell did you fit all that into a duffel bag?" Seriously, the duffel bag was the size of a sack, of potatoes, yet held all that stuff.

"Hi-mi-tsu." I said, while wagging my finger at her. At the confused looks, Allen said, "She said it's a secret."

"Now come on!" I yelled. Everyone began working and Harry, Allen, and the Earl followed me.

Kitchen

"Alright guys, could you PLEASE help me cook food for the party?" I asked with a puppy dog pout.

Allen caved right away. Harry took five more seconds, and the Earl just said fine.

"THANK YOU!" I yelled, and glomped every single one of them. "Okay, so we need lots of different kinds of food. I don't care what you make as long as it's not poisonous." I said.

Luckily, they all knew how to cook different things. Even better, the kitchen had all the ingredients.

After about ten hours, we were done cooking.

Harry made lots of English food while Allen made food from all around the world. The Earl made Asian food. I made good old American food. We all helped in making tortes, donuts, churros, ice cream, chocolate, pocky, cheesecake, and lollipops. We also made a seven layer strawberry cake.

"YAY! Lots of yummy food!" I cried. "Great job guys!" I said. Seriously, there was enough food to make Molly Weasley jealous!

"Thank you." Allen and Harry said. The Earl just smiled. "Let's go see what everyone else is up to."

Party Room

The room was in chaos. Rhode and Lenalee seemed to be fighting over Allen (ha ha), Lavi was talking to Fred and George, Komui was talking to Cross and Bak about science stuff, Jasdero and David were acting like idiots and ruining the decorations, Kanda was sulking in the corner, Lulubelle was drinking milk and glaring at Allen, Skin was eating candy and glaring at Kanda, Harry and Ron were playing Wizard's Chess, and Hermione was reading about Arithmacy.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?" I yelled. Everyone froze or looked up at me.

"Oh! Hi V-chan!" the three red heads said. Jasdebi tried to sneak off until I used Petrificus Totalis. "What. The. Hell. Are. You. Guys. Doing?" I hissed. I released the spell, and punched both of them while using my Dark Gloves. "Now. Fix. The. Mess. Or. Die!" I yelled.

Needless to say, the twins automatically fixed their mess. I automatically knocked them unconscious and kick their nuts. Every guy covered their groin.

"Okay, I get what just about everyone was doing, but what were Lenalee-chan and Rhode-chan doing?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. Immediately, the three prankster redheads started babbling about something.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled.

Once everyone calmed down, I said, "Now, one at a time, tell me what the hell Rhode and Lenalee did!"

George, Fred, and oddly Lavi, alternated speaking.

"Well" "You see" "We, meaning" "George, Lavi" "and Fred were" "talking about" "what would" "happen if Allen" "had to choose" "one of the" "girls." Allen blushed madly at this, followed by Rhode and Lenalee. "So, then" "Lenalee-chan" "and Miss Rhode" "started arguing" "about who" "Allen likes" "more." More blushing from aforementioned people. "And we" "did not" "have" "the time" "to stop them" "because they" "started a" "CAT FIGHT!" They finished in unison (It alternates between Fred, then George, then Lavi speaking). Allen, Rhode, and Lenalee resembled fire engines.

My eyes instantly softened, before I smirked and said, "Well, I can't say I wasn't expecting a catfight. Okay, anyway I gotta say you guys did an excellent job! Now, here's some food. Go to bed, and I'll Emily over tomorrow." I said.

Everyone ate and went to sleep. I followed them.

**Next day**

I got up, showered, and put on a pair of jeans and a shirt that said: "Welcome to the Land of Retarded Aliens" on the front and "Retarded Alien here, How may I help you?" on the back along with my usual converses.

Once I got downstairs, everyone else was waiting for me. "Okay everyone! I'm going to get Emily. Stay here, and once she comes in, yell surprise!" I yelled. Everyone agreed, and I went into the portal to grab my best friend.

Emily's place

"HEY EMILY!" I yelled. Emily yelled, "HI!!" We glomped and I said, "Hey, put on a blindfold for a minute please? It's your present." "Of course!" Emily said and put on the blindfold.

I dragged her into the portal, which was silent.

Party Time!

Once we got in, I counted to 3 on my fingers while I untied Emily's blindfold. Once it was on, everyone yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Emily jumped , but once she calmed down, I said, "Happy birthday nee-chan(We're not related. We just call each other nee-chan)!" She immediately glomped me. "Like it?" I asked her. "Like it, I LOVE IT!" she yelled.

We (Allen, Harry, the Earl & I) brought out the food, and we immediatelyattacked the food. After that, we all started using the TV, and other electronics. I played video games with Fred, George, and Lavi. Cross just sat in the corner drinking liquor, but I knew that just having him there made Emily happy. Jasdebi, Lulubelle, Rhode, and Tyki were watching movies.

Finally, the Earl and I brought out the cake. We all sang and ate the delicious cake. But of course, Jasdebi, who wanted revenge, started a food fight that everyone but the Earl and Cross joined in. After Harry, his friends, and I cleaned everyone up, we went to open the presents.

Emily opened the exorcists gifts first. She squealed, "I LOVE IT!" Then she activated it and had it throw away the gift paper. Then she opened the Noah's presents. As she got each one, she glomped them all. She was elated. The last gift in the pile was from Harry and his friends.

As soon as she opened it she asked, "Why's Malfoy my present?" Fred and George said, "Because we stunned him" "and boxed him up" "for you" "to torture!". She squealed and glomped them.

"Ano, nee-chan, where's your gift?" Emily asked me. Everyone stared at me, wondering the same thing. "Nee-chan, your gifts are this party, which I spent days working on, and this!" I said. I pointed at a certain part on the room, where a door materialized. Inside it was...a torture chamber! I continued, "I made it so you can torture ANYBODY! And see that door in the corner? It leads to your room."

There was silence from her. I looked at her, and she super glomped me, "ARIGATOU ARIGATOU ARIGATOU! It's my best present ever!" she yelled.

"WAIT!" I yelled as I grabbed a remote control and stood on the break dancing pad. "I wanted to sing this because one: it fits, two: it'll make Emily happy, and three; Cross wouldn't dare kill me for this!" I said as I pressed a button on the remote control.

Imeadiately, music started coming out of the stereo. Hermione smirked, figuring out what the song was. Emily, well she gasped and covered her mouth with her hands to stifle laughter.

I started singing (song is altered to make more sense):

Well he sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina,  
He's a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize,  
He'll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China,  
Tell me where in the world is General Cross Marian?

Steal their Seoul in South Korea, make Antarctica cry Uncle,  
From the Red Sea to Greenland they'll be singing the blues,  
Well they never Arkansas him steal the Mekong from the jungle,  
Tell me where in the world is General Cross Marian?

He go from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe,  
Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back!

Well he'll ransack Pakistan and run a scam in Scandinavia,  
Then he'll stick 'em up Down Under and go pick-pocket Perth,  
He put the Miss in misdemeanor (couldn't change that, or it wouldn't make sense) when he stole the beans from Lima,  
Tell me where in the world is General Cross Marian?  
Oh tell me where in the world is... Oh tell me where can he be?

Ooh, Botswana to Thailand, Milan via Amsterdam,  
Mali to Bali, Ohio, Oahu...!

Well he glides around the globe and he'll flimflam every nation,  
He's a double-dealing dude with a taste for thievery,  
His itinerary's loaded up with moving violations,  
Tell me where in the world is general Cross Marian?"

By the time I finished, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE (including Cross and the Earl) had open jaws. Finally, Emily cracked and fell on the floor laughing, with everyone else besides Cross and following her.

Once the laughter died down, I said, "Now, I propose a dance contest!" Emily and David got gleams in their eye. About an hour later, everyone but Emily and David lost (besides Cross and the Earl who didn't try).

Emily and David refused to admit defeat, and so, I ended up being the referee. "Alright! This is the finals! it's Emily vs. David! Let the best person win! Begin!" I yelled.

It was long, tiring, and filled with blood sweat, and tears. Until finally, I yelled, "Emily is the winner!" Everyone cheered, even David, and finally, I sent everyone back to their homes.

"What'd you think nee-chan?" I asked my best friend/almost twin. "Best. Birthday. EVER!" she told me. I hugged her and went back to my place.

Mission Accomplished.

**End**

What'd you think? Tell me!........And

_**HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY EMBREN!!**_


End file.
